Trish Gaffney, LCSW-C, CCDC (410) 782-0048 |
St. John’s Professional Center3355 St. John’s Lane Ellicott City, MD. 21042 |
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. . . finding hope in every difficult situation |
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Whether spoken, written, dreamed, learned or remembered, the words and ideas we hold in our minds literally create our reality. The thoughts we think today, form the ideas we believe tomorrow. The assumptions we make today, form the attitudes we assume tomorrow. And the beliefs we carry today, form the vision of what we can see tomorrow. DeWitt Jones, the photographer whose vision would form the inspiring images of life found in the National Geographic for many years put it this way, “You have to believe it to see it.” What we believe is real, true and possible, becomes so. The reflections you will find here will change monthly, sometimes more often. They are offered in the hope that your belief about what is possible expands, and that what you hope for begins to become real and visible in your life.
April 12th, 2008 Courage anyone? Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular – but one must take it simply because it is right. Martin Luther King, Jr. ***************************************** April 4th marked the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. The news was full of many tributes to his life’s work and personal history. It was as though we were searching for the essence of Rev. King; what experiences formed him, what sustained him, what made him such a timeless example – one that continues to change us 40 years after his death? I believe that it was his courage to face squarely our inhumanity to one another and to speak clearly about it was unpopular, not politically correct and demonstrably unsafe. One of Rev. King’s most outstanding qualities, second only to his faith, was his courage. Courage changes people’s lives. Jesse Jackson and other people who worked closely with Rev. King spoke tearfully of his loss as huge hole left behind and his imprint on them still indelible today. He inspired us. After time in his presence, few were ever the same again. In 39 short years, he planted the seeds of hope, faith, determination, sacrifice, and faith in those who believed in his dream. One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest. Maya Angelou Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the strength to stand firm in who we are and what we believe-- despite the fear! In his courage, Rev. King stood before those who condemned him with unwavering focus. As the son of a pastor Rev. King followed his father into ministry but more than that, he used what Maya Angelou calls “potential.” I thought about what a bunch of “fence-sitters” we can be in our culture – wary of making waves, unlikely to challenge if it’s not popular, so fearful of losing relationships that we tend to preserve them through “just letting it ride and it will work itself out.” Although that may often be true, sometimes it is not and it is in those times that we need to understand how to develop the courage to stand firm for what is right. When we can practice courage, as Angelou suggests, what develops in us is faith, truth, mercy, generosity and honesty.
The Questions Ask yourself: Am I a person who seeks courage or more one who believes in maintaining neutrality when faced with potential conflict? Both kinds of people are essential. For the courage seeker, consider what potential might I have if I intentionally watered the seeds of courage until they grew strong in my life? About what would I speak up if I were not afraid of the response? What will I lose, when I start to speak up (friends, self-image, habits, etc.)? What difference might it make in my life or the life of others if I grew strong in my ability respond to fear with courage? Am I able to bear the cost in a given situation, if I speak up for what is “right”? What would I be able to contribute to our world, as a result of courage and the leadership that arises out of it? In what particular areas of my personal life do I fence-sit, staying neutral at the cost of dishonesty; what do I fear could happen if I changed?
Growing your garden of courage Courage is not something to develop lightly; it will change you and your place in the world. Do not enter blindly into the development of courage. When you strengthen your courage, you will start to see opportunities for courage all around and before you know it, courage becomes a habit and you’re stuck with it! · Spend time with The Questions, until you know your answers. · Become a witness to the courage of others: look for the masters of courage and study their ways. This can save you years by learning from others who have walked the path. · Accept that the emotion of fear is inborn. It cannot be eliminated, only faced. Acknowledge the emotion of fear knowing that only in the field of fear can courage be developed. · Be truthful. When you can honestly accept your current human limitations, you will gain the strength and courage to move through them. · Move toward what you fear. The emotion of fear is inborn and cannot be eliminated, but it can be changed in form from apprehension to courage. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt · Fear is rooted in thoughts about what could happen if . . . Bring it into the present. If you feel afraid of something, do it immediately. Soon you will see that the fear was mostly a thought in your mind. Actually, you’re fine. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot · Surrender the outcome. Courage is about action not results. If you have the courage to act, you’ve succeeded. Period. The outcome of the choice has nothing to do with success or failure. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. Martin Luther King Jr. · Do your homework. Become intellectually familiar with whatever it is that you are resisting. Do a reality check. Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance feeds fear. Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death. Harold Wilson · Know and develop true spiritual courage through belief in a Higher Power. Develop a deeper understanding of yourself as an instrument with a mission and deeper purpose. It is not an accident that some of the most remarkable examples of courage are those with enduring faith. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin · Redefine your “failures” as “practice.” Taking action, regardless of outcome, is far more courageous than mediocrity. It is a badge of courage to be willing to fail and take action anyway. Parachutes weren't proven trustworthy by having people carry them around on their backs. Janette Marie Freeman · Ultimately, courage is about action, not about your internal state. And not outcome. When you simply take action toward truth, you’ve already succeeded. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead
Courageous living means having the strength to work with danger, fear, or hardship and to overcome it. It also means being able to keep your spirits up, as you face difficulties. It’s the fortitude to look something ominous in the eye, and say, “I will overcome this, and my spirit will not be broken in the process.
Blessings on your journey.
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“ There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~Nelson Mandela |
